Have you been in a situation where your decision would mean losing money, a friendship or both? If you can’t lend someone money, they’ll be offended and you may be relegated from friend to associate. But if you lend them the money, there’s a good chance you won’t see the money again.
What can be unpleasant is asking whoever borrowed the money, “Do you have the money?” If they’re running bad, and those who borrow always seem to be running bad or unable to manage a bankroll, your inquiry will be received as impolite, inappropriate, bad timing or impatient.
You can’t seem to get eye contact with them and they never come to your table, slap your shoulder and say “How’s it going?” On rare occasions they make the money, they are quick to pound their chests and proclaim how great they are, but they never seem to have enough to pay you all or part of your loan.
What is it about lending money that changes relationships and usually ends up with giving the money away not realistically believing you’ll recover any or all of it? You need to think about the reasons why an individual borrows.
Have you observed them do this with others and can they afford to pay back the money, survive their day-to-day living expenses and maintain their bankroll? Do they live lavishly for a week or month and then return to a pattern of hitting up new associate for a small loan?
How did it make you feel when you lent money to someone else who stiffed you, never seemed to remember the loan, the amount, how long ago it was or how generous you were to provide them a leg up at a time of need?
When we talk about lending money in the poker room, it should bring you to one conclusion: If you’re dumb enough, gullible enough and even eager enough to lend anyone money, expect to lose the friendship and the money.
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— Al Spath is the former Dean at Poker School Online and continues to teach poker online and live. His free YouTube Poker Channel (Al Spath) has hundreds of instructional videos to view. Al’s live broadcasts are on TwitchTV: follow (PositivePokerInsiders). Contact Al directly at alspath@alspath.com with questions coaching inquires.
